Sex is one of those tenuous topics for many couples.  Past abuse, health problems, porn and shame are just a few things that can complicate the experience of physical intimacy within a marriage.  Instead of enjoying sex as being a place of connectivity and release, many find it to be an area that causes enormous pain and disappointment.

Not long after we got married, David and I almost split up for a few reasons — one of those reasons was the porn addiction that he brought into our marriage.  He told me about it while we were dating and I naively thought that once we got married and were able to enjoy all the sex we wanted he wouldn’t be pulled in that direction anymore.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Some wives look the other way, some join in, and some fight back.

I fought back.

We’ll write more about it in the future but I will say that his decision to get help for that addiction saved our marriage — and our sex life.  Investing in us in that way has been a gift to our marriage for 14 years now, and I am so grateful.

Strong Marriage Challenge Day 9 – Let’s Talk about Sex

Today’s Strong Marriage challenge was to talk about our individual needs and desires regarding our life inside the bedroom.

It’s funny, we don’t shy easily and we are pretty open about talking about sex, but after all of these years together we’ve never formally set aside time to talk about that part of our life.

Obviously, I’m not going to get into the details, but it was fun and enlightening.

You should try it!

Sex may be a topic that gets talked about too much or in an inappropriate way in our culture, but cultivating physical intimacy is an important part of a healthy marriage any way you slice it so we shouldn’t be afraid or feel awkward discussing it.

Besides, sex inside marriage should be the hottest thing ever.  Growing old together is beautiful and we should want to grow in every possible way.  

Join the LUVolution, the revolt against mundane relationships!

TAKE ACTION: Give your marriage the gift of talking with your spouse about what you each like, need and want more of in the bedroom.

Questions to help facilitate the sex discussion:

• What are some things that you really enjoy about our sex life?
• What are some things you’d like to see more of in terms of our physical intimacy?
• Is there anything I’m doing that isn’t working for you?
• Is there anything you’re doing for me that isn’t working for you?
• Is there anything new you’d like to try?