STRONG MARRIAGE EXPERIMENT DAY 3 – Personality Test
Today’s StrongLuv Marriage Challenge was for each of us to take the Myers-Briggs Personality Test to find out what Psychological Type we both are.
After taking the test we emailed each other the results. David went back to work and I spent time reading through and watching a few videos to help me understand more about each type. I did a bit more research and put a list together of the main strengths and weaknesses associated with each personality type so that we could go over them together tonight.
The hope is that understanding why we operate and respond the way we do can go a long way in extending grace to one another, especially when we are out of sync.
The personality test results revealed something we already knew; we are not just a little bit different, we are radically different. I’m more of a creative, free spirit and David is the accurate scientist type. I’m not detail oriented and David’s primary giftedness is organization and planning. I value meaning, he values systems.
It’s the typical opposites attract situation over here.
Here is an overview of our personality types;
Emily The Idealist – INFP Personality Type:
- Always looking for the truth and meaning underlying things
- Primary goal is to find out their significance and purpose in life. How can they best serve humanity in their lives?
- An idealist
- Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease.
- Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people
- Go to great lengths to avoid conflict
- Flexible and easygoing — unless one of their values is violated — at which point they can become aggressive in defense of said value
- Not detail-oriented
- Details of life maintenance are mundane and INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet!!!
- Often perfectionistic and can start projects and not finish them because they aren’t up to the standard they want them to be. Or they go back and tweak it even after it’s been turned in.
David The Scientist – INTJ Personality Type:
- Operate best in the realm of ideas and strategic planning
- Extremely astute and quick to grasp new ideas
- Value and need for systems and organization
- Natural leaders that they don’t need the spotlight
- Developed strategists who are open to better ideas for streamlining things and processes
- May have problems giving other people the level of intimacy that is needed – unless they have matured on the feeling side of things
- Certain they are right about things
- They abhor disorganization and inefficiency, and anything that is ambiguous
- They may seem distant and reserved
- Seem rigid but are in fact open to hearing a different way of doing things
It’s a head scratcher as to why we haven’t done personality testing earlier in our marriage to help us understand each other better — especially with our interest in these types of things.
Seeing it all on paper is a powerful reminder that the quirks that rub us funny about each other, are often genetically coded in and there by design!
We walk away from today with renewed gratitude for our differences — and truthfully, a bit of sorrow about how we’ve viewed certain parts of each other’s personalities through the lens of brokenness rather than gratitude for their unique strengths.
TAKE ACTION: Ask your spouse to take the Myers-Briggs Personality Test with you. It only takes 10 minutes. Afterward go over the results separately so you can process the information, then come together and talk about the findings and what you learned.
