Home projects and honey do lists tend to put added stress on many marriages and ours is not immune. Different expectations, styles and desires can complicate coming together around any renovation. I wondered how we’d work together now that the Strong Marriage Experiment is almost over.
We’ve spent the last two and a half weeks investing our time and energy into loving up on and meeting each others needs. I was curious if having full love tanks and boundaries around the way we communicate would contribute to more harmonious house work.
Strong Marriage Experiment Day 19 – Honey Do [Together] List
Work together on at least one house project which requires compromise.
Remember those Experiment Ground Rules? Well yes, home renovation projects of any kind would historically be a time for us to throw our weight and words around to get our own way. Mature, I know. I’m sure you never do that!
Today we had my dad over to help us with some electrical work and to install a light fixture we’ve had for a while and hadn’t reached a consensus on where it should go. It was one of those deals where I saw it, loved it and bought it. The only problem is David and I both own the house and unlike some men, he actually cares about minor little details like — the lighting! He wasn’t a fan.
I wanted it hung in the closet we’re transforming into an office space and David wanted to get rid of it altogether. We were at a stand still.
Eventually David agreed to hang it where I had originally wanted it but I knew he wasn’t happy with my preferred placement so I decided I didn’t want it there either. We put our heads together and thought of another placement altogether. It wasn’t a space either of us had previously thought of hanging it but it worked and we were both happy.
I can’t tell you how helpful it is to have a reign on your tongue when things get tense or you don’t agree. I wish we would have come up with this experiment years ago. It’s been so good to force ourselves to step back back from our own “rights” and preferences and talk through things in a respectful way.
We are making progress!!!
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