Everyone grieves the loss of their baby in a different way, but some folks find the act of writing a letter to their aborted baby an important part of their journey to wholeness. People are often unprepared for the complex mix of emotions they’re bombarded with after terminating a pregnancy. It’s the dark side of abortion, few discuss.
Many moms and dads end up suffering in silence and experience their sadness and shame in isolation. Writing a letter to an aborted baby won’t be right for everyone but, because it has helped so many, I wanted to provide a beautiful “Letter to My Baby” Printable for those of you looking for this type of resolution.
After reading this letter to her SOON-TO-BE-ABORTED baby I was truly saddened for this young woman. She talked to her unborn baby like she was doing him a favor and he would exist again when she was ready to mother him. I know it made her feel better to frame it in that way, but since every person is unique, if you abort one, the next pregnancy will be with a completely different human being.
The intent of this resource is not for women who intend to abort their child and are looking for a way to absolve their guilt, but instead as a restorative resource for those healing from an abortion they regret.
A Sample Letter to Aborted Baby
This is a sample Letter to My Aborted Baby written from the perspective of the suffering expressed by my nearest and dearest who’ve suffered trauma after their own abortions. I imagined how I would’ve felt if I made the decision to abort my child only to regret that choice later. I want to make it clear I, in no way, presume to understand the depth of pain any woman who finds herself in this situation may be feeling.
Everyone experiences the aftermath of abortion differently, but here is what I may have written in a letter to my aborted baby:
Precious boy, how I long to hold you in my arms. My arms ache for you. I think about you so often and wish so badly I could turn back time. I would do things so differently. I was afraid, honey. So afraid. Please forgive me, son. Forgive me for not giving you the life you deserved. God had a plan for you, Asher, and I took that from you. I can’t wait until I get to meet you in heaven one day. Then I will finally know if you have my blue eyes or your daddy’s green eyes. And I will see your smile and hear your laugh. I can’t wait! I will hold you so close. I think the angels will have to pry my arms from you that day!
I promise to be the mom you needed. I will love your future siblings with the love I wish I would have given you. I will tell them about you so they don’t make the same mistake I did. And I will tell other women who are afraid and confused, just like I was. Your death won’t be in vain, Asher, I promise. Every year I will honor you but celebrating you on the day you should have been born. You will never be forgotten – Never! Until I hold you in my arms, I will hold you in my heart.
Letters from Women to their Aborted Babies:
- Carla Stream’s Letter to her aborted baby “Aubry”
- Hannah Rose Allen, inspired by Stream’s letter wrote a letter to her own aborted child, Luke Shiloh
- This mother, who goes by “zeroemotion”, wrote a letter to her aborted baby “Adrian Jordan Malik”
There are a variety of reasons people choose to end their pregnancies. I truly believe many young women don’t want to have an abortion but are pressured into it or think it’s necessary, only to realize later it was a big mistake. For some the grief of that regret comes immediately, for others, it takes years.
If you are hurting after an abortion, my heart is with you. You are precious to God. He loves you — ALL of you — fully and fiercely no matter what mistakes you’ve made. Your baby is completely whole and happy in the arms of the God who made him. I pray you are able to forgive yourself and find the healing you need. <3
TAKE ACTION: If you think this exercise may be healing for you, I hope you’ll download the Letter to My Baby Printable. There is no formula for what to communicate in a letter to your aborted child. Just share your heart. No one needs to see it but you. You may also want to take a look at my post on 20 ways to memorialize your aborted baby (there’s a beautiful printable over there too :-))